~foxboy

When I think back on all the crap I learned in high school, makes me wonder what the hell I'm doing here. I'm getting into debt for being walked through power point presentations in a classroom of 400 people on information that could just as easily be assimilated by reading a good book. I know this college thing is just creating a strata of those who have and those who haven't, even more than major or institution come into it. It seems like this grand waste that I'm getting credit for things I'm already incredibly familiar with as opposed to things that I should be learning. It doesn't come from lack of trying, or lack of attempts at higher level classes. So far as I can see, they all look like this. They're all these oversized, underfunded, economic strains.

So to be "successful," an individual just subjects him or herself to four or more years of this something rather than actually spending it learning. I've heard arguments that it's an introduction into reality or an opportunity to find yourself, but this is probably as removed from reality as I could possibly imagine. Everything is a novelty and a toy. Surroundings are thoughtless and people are accessories, least of all conversationmates but most of all superficial companionship as one loses him or herself to any of the surrounding distractions. Now, mind you, I love my distractions, I just find it unsettling that so many people have nothing else. No reason for what they do, no reason behind the madness. And I hope that few people "find themselves" when they find themselves waking up on the floor, covered in now-crusty bits of that diversion of last night, wondering if a shower is all they need to consider.

I mean, there's no way to avoid college. It's an institutional necessity. It's just fundamentally flawed in its goals in my specific situation.